I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
