lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
