I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
