we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
