a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
