Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
