fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
