I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
