Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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