Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
