So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
