Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
