I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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