Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
