Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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