There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
