He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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