tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
try to milk me bitch
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