you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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