That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
