I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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