he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
