Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
