she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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