dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
