well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
