And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
