turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
