we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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