If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
