I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
