Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
