i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
