Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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