had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
