I think my vagina is haunted
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
