Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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