wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
