worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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