I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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