Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
