yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
