If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
