He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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