So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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