I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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