my vag is so smooth its legendary
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
