I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
