it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
