the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
