Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There are leaves in my underwear?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
