DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
