Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
