I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
