you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
