Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
