I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
