Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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